Mom had a deep yearning for 'home' since I could remember, a feeling that transcended physical location and was more about a sense of belonging and comfort. But for years, this feeling manifested as missing the United States and believing that everything over there was far better than here.
This yearning infused every part of my being, so much so that the first opportunity I had to venture on my own, I took it, and at 19 years old, off I went to my American adventure.
Although we never really paid too much attention to the cultural significance of the Thanksgiving holiday, it was a special time for my mom simply because it was a way for her to connect to her roots and bring some of her 'home feeling' into her new reality in another continent. She would wear this elaborate Daughters of the American Revolution-style gown and enjoy creating a warm, loving atmosphere. Throughout the years, I learned from her that you can make 'home' wherever you are. Especially after she fully acknowledged that this ideal of home and belonging was a mental construct and that the true meaning of comfort, security, authenticity, and love is always within grasp as it resides within us. She realized that she had indeed created a beautiful sense of home right where she was in Italy with my dad, my sister, and me. She was loved and grew deep roots in a place that was initially so different and too often very harsh.
Each year around my birthday, I find myself in a contemplative, retrospective state. What I mean by 'retrospective' is a period of reflecting on the experiences that have shaped my growth throughout the year—an opportunity to honor what needs to be released and create space for the new. Especially during this time, I am so grateful for ALL experiences, including yearnings, losses, misperceived successes, and achievements, past and present. Oftentimes, something from the distant past resurfaces to be acknowledged and held in pure unconditional light, like it was kept prisoner for ages but now feels free being seen. Every single step we take leads to the true pot of gold, which is always within, no matter how one chooses to express their authenticity or where to create a home in the physical world.
